The Process of Forgiveness
by Jeff Olinghouse
In today’s polarized society, we live in an environment that is fueled by unforgiveness. Everywhere we look, it seems like someone has something against another. Thankfully, God called the believer to live above this world’s system and to walk in a place of supernatural love and forgiveness. In fact, the Christian lifestyle is one of wholehearted forgiveness! Of course, forgiving others can be difficult without the help of the Holy Spirit, especially when someone has experienced hurt or betrayal. However, God has equipped us with His power to release others in our hearts. When it comes to forgiveness, there isn’t any other option for the true believer; it is a requirement to walk in the new life in Christ.
Why is forgiveness so important in the life of a Christian? I believe the answer is simple—it is a response to God’s love that forgave us of our own trespasses and sins and a reflection of His love indwelling in our hearts. When we understand everything Jesus went through to forgive us in purchasing our salvation, then forgiveness will come easy in our lives. Yes, I understand there are those who have done things that have hurt us to the very core of our soul. But the only way to move forward in life is to forgive others and release the pain, offense, hurt, bitterness, and anger caused by their actions.
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Freedom
Comes With Forgiveness
Many times, people can hurt us without even realizing it. Their intention was not to bring pain, and perhaps you might have misunderstood or misinterpreted their actions and words towards us. Other times, people bring pain to our lives because of the sin they’ve not dealt with in their own hearts – they might have responded to us from a place of pride, jealousy, anger, or hurt. In any case, if we are going to be true disciples of Jesus, we must do as He instructed His disciples when teaching about prayer: “Forgive us as we forgive those who sinned against us” (Luke 4:4). When we forgive others for what they have done to us, their actions and words no longer hold us captive to the pain. We are set free the moment we forgive.
Every time we walk in forgiveness, we are operating in the love of God towards that person. We are not counting their wrongs against them, holding grudges, keeping score, or responding in the flesh. Instead, we pull up from the wells deep inside us and release God’s supernatural love that’s abiding in our hearts. It is His love that constrains us, helps not to retaliate in anger, and keeps us from adding fuel to the fire. (See 1 Corinthians 13.)
Forgiveness is also good for our soul. As David said in Psalm 23, “He restores my soul.” Our soul can never be restored if we are walking in unforgiveness with others. I believe the greatest example of forgiveness is portrayed in Jesus’ death. While He was hanging on the Cross surrounded by the torment of the crucifixion, He looked up to heaven and prayed for those who were crucifying him. He said, “Father forgive them for they don’t know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34).
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Forgiveness
The Response of Jesus
Often when people inflict pain on us, they do not know what they are doing. Their actions are born out of a place of hurt in their own life. Because they are looking for a way to soothe their own pain, they lash out at others. I know many Christians who refuse to forgive others simply because they were hurt by another believer. No one will escape hurt in this life, for even Jesus said that offenses will come! However, God expects us all to respond appropriately to that pain by bringing it to the Cross and leaving it there.
Can you imagine if Jesus refused to forgive us like the way many Christians refuse to forgive others, even fellow believers? Do you think that every time you come to the Cross to ask Jesus to forgive you for something, He continually brings up your past saying, “I cannot forgive you because that hurt Me so bad”? Does He do that to us? Of course not! He forgives us because He loves us and removes that sin as if it never happened.
If we are going to walk in God’s true nature, we must understand that forgiveness is the character of God. To be like Him is to be forgiving of others. I understand what it means to be hurt by others, and I understand what it means to be abandoned by others. But each time I wanted to get even with the people who did me wrong, I couldn’t because Jesus’ forgiveness was shining as my example. He kept saying, “If you will forgive, I have so much more for you.” So willingly, I chose to forgive those people. Forgiveness might not have been easy, but it was necessary to walk into my own healing from the pain inflicted by others.
Like everything else, forgiveness is a process. Walking out the process of forgiveness begins with us being willing to forgive those that have wronged us either knowingly or unknowingly. I personally believe that Jesus is looking for those who can easily say “I forgive them for they don’t know what they are doing.” If we work with God’s process in forgiving others, God will restore everything that has been broken. Forgiveness is the required step to receive complete restoration.
My challenge to us all is that we would be quick to forgive just like Jesus forgave us. If we will take the first step towards forgiving others, then God will begin to repair the pains that may have been caused from that wound. By allowing God to pour in the oil and the wine of the Holy Sprit to administer healing to the pain, we can walk completely free of the hurt and bitterness of an unforgiving heart.